FRANTIC CRESCO OFFICE OF THE MAYOR
WHY IS ANYONE EVEN TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE SPONTANEOUSLY DISAPPEARING WHEN NO ONE HAS DISAPPEARED AND EVERYTHING IS PERFECTLY FINE?
(FRANTIC CRESCO, QA) -- Today during a press conference Frantic Cresco Mayor Troy Eele wondered aloud what could possibly be causing the panic when nothing has spontaneously disappeared and everything is perfectly fine? "As everyone knows," Mayor Eele remarked, "Frantic Cresco has never been better, and certainly no part of it has gone missing -- especially not the Museum of Oomlau Antiquities, which is exactly where it always has been! Haha!" Mayor Eele chuckled, calmly and without wincing once. "In fact, to prove that the Museum is still in business, Docent Marlo Greaves is offering special discounts across many of the products in the Museum's GIFT SHOP. I encourage anyone who has been spooked by these fringe conspiracy theories involving "the istence" to please avail themselves of the many replica products and fine pore-related knickknacks that the GIFT SHOP has to offer!" At press time, Mayor Eele had retreated to a sealed compartment within City Hall where he was certainly not hyperventilating into a paper bag and trying to close all of the pores on his body.
Please Note: Frantic Cresco Mayor Troy Eele is a registered corporation in the State of Qualifornia and has no opinions, and certainly none that could be construed as his own. For more information on the meaning of the word "opinions" and who is legally allowed to have them, please consult Ombudsperson for the Mayor Lev Tate.
(FRANTIC CRESCO, QA) -- Today during a press conference Frantic Cresco Mayor Troy Eele wondered aloud what could possibly be causing the panic when nothing has spontaneously disappeared and everything is perfectly fine? "As everyone knows," Mayor Eele remarked, "Frantic Cresco has never been better, and certainly no part of it has gone missing -- especially not the Museum of Oomlau Antiquities, which is exactly where it always has been! Haha!" Mayor Eele chuckled, calmly and without wincing once. "In fact, to prove that the Museum is still in business, Docent Marlo Greaves is offering special discounts across many of the products in the Museum's GIFT SHOP. I encourage anyone who has been spooked by these fringe conspiracy theories involving "the istence" to please avail themselves of the many replica products and fine pore-related knickknacks that the GIFT SHOP has to offer!" At press time, Mayor Eele had retreated to a sealed compartment within City Hall where he was certainly not hyperventilating into a paper bag and trying to close all of the pores on his body.
Please Note: Frantic Cresco Mayor Troy Eele is a registered corporation in the State of Qualifornia and has no opinions, and certainly none that could be construed as his own. For more information on the meaning of the word "opinions" and who is legally allowed to have them, please consult Ombudsperson for the Mayor Lev Tate.